Fruits for the Week

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Based on their vast knowledge and experience, experts in human psychology assert that the best wife is she who actively participates in love-making.

It should be borne in mind that when one pan of the scale of love in empty, the other pan will empty by itself. When enthusiasm is lacking, the couple’s sexual life begins to die. If the wife attitude towards sex is cold, if she expresses reluctance towards it or if she oversteps the limits of bashfulness, the couple’s relationship will be stifled and eventually killed.


On the other hand, when the couple enjoy a healthy sex life with both partners as eager participants, their love for each other will grow as well as their mutual trust. Such a couple will even have children who are active and intelligent. Such a couple will experience happiness and peace of mind.


A woman will be guilty of extreme laziness and insolence when she responds coldly to her husband’s warmth, kind words and favours as he makes advanced towards her. This causes him to dislike her and to develop negative feelings towards her. In essence, the benefits of sexual relations are attained only when both partners are equally stimulated and when both enjoy their relationship.


By employing her intelligence, gentle nature, beauty and other methods of attraction, a bright woman can maintain hers and her husband’s youth and their period of sexual activity without resorting to extreme measures. When couple’s sexual activity contains receptiveness, attraction towards each other and fulfilment coupled with the intentions of pleasing Allah Ta’ala, fulfilling their duties towards each other and being parents of pious children, they will experience unparalleled pleasure.


Ibn Qayyim writes that the sign of such pleasure will be that every limb of the body will be at ease and the mere sight of one’s spouse will delight one’s eyes. In addition to this, his words will be a song to the ears, his fragrance wills the most precious in the world, his kiss will sweeten the mouth and the touch of his hand will generate a powerful emotion, giving contentment to the entire body. However, if anything is lacking in the relationship, the contentment will be incomplete and wanting.


When a person enjoys doing something permissible, he will be rewarded for it on condition that he does the act to please Allah because it is a command of Allah and a practice of Messenger of Allah. Messenger of Allah said,” May Allah’s curse be on the woman who says,’ I am coming, I am coming.’ When her husband calls her to bed, she keeps saying,’ I am coming; I am coming, until he falls asleep.” (Tabrani)


Muslim narrates a hadith from Abu Hurairah in which Messenger of Allah says,” By the Being in whose control is my life! When a husband calls his wife to bed and she refuses, He in the heavens becomes angry with her until her husband is happy with her.


The reason for this is that Satan becomes extremely pleased when he separates the couple and they become enemies instead of benefitting from each other’s love and company.


Another hadith of Muslim mentions that Satan sets up his throne on water and then disperses his disciples to cause mischief. The closest to him is the one who causes the most evil and strife. When the disciples gather afterwards, one of them says,” I worked on so-and-so until I committed adultery.” Another says,” I did not rest until separated a couple.” Hearing this, Satan congratulates the disciple and seats him closest to him telling him,” You are the one! You are the one!


This narration makes it clear that Allah’s enemy is most pleased when a rift is created between two hearts containing the love of Allah and His messenger. Therefore, when a husband calls his wife to bed and she thinks that he thinks only of sex or that she will have to take a bath in such cold weather, she should immediately tell herself that these thoughts are from Satan. She should then recite “A’uzubillahi minash-shaitanir-rajim” and “ La haula wala quwwata illa billah.” She should then go immediately to her husband. Insha Allah, this will disgrace Satan and he will leave the house. Allah will then make such a wife beloved to here husband.                  


(To be continued) 

(Prepared by Muhammad Haneef Abdul Majeed)